Happy April Fools
by AnEmotionalVampire
Summary: It's April Fools day and Emmett decides to play a prank or two...*COMPLETE*


**Author Notes:** Happy April Fools. Don't do anything stupid. This is told from Emmett's point of view. It's MOST defiantly not my best work, considering that I wrote it in under two hours, and I'm tired. There are two references to one of my fanfics in this story - The Crazy Cullens. Hope you enjoy it. I know it's not that funny. Apparently sleepiness makes me less funny, and unable to spell. I keep making mistakes and I ramble.

**Disclaimer:** [insert customary disclaimer here]

**Happy April Fools**  
Emmett's Point of View.

Ah, April First… My favorite day of the year. The one day where I, Emmett Cullen, is allowed to prank both vampires and humans without getting into any sort of trouble, as long as no humans got hurt. This year, April Fools fell on a school day. Just all the more fun for me.

I rolled out of bed, stretching and rubbing my eyes, pretending to get the sleep out. Rosalie and I spent the night… well you don't need to know what we did, but it was great. If Rosalie were human, we'd have more children than the Duggar family. I began to plan my day. I got dressed, brushed my awesome curly hair and teeth, even we like to have minty fresh breath, and went downstairs with my satchel. Real manpires don't carry backpacks, and I was a real manpire. That's man and vampire put together if you didn't know.

"I'm gonna take the Jeep today." I told my siblings and wife, then headed to the garage after giving my Rosie a kiss. I had told her last night that I wanted to go alone. I smiled as I saw Sexy-J, my jeep.

"Emmett," Carlisle said to me. I stopped and turned towards him. "I know we give you a lot of leeway today, but please try to control yourself. I don't want to have to go to your school. If I'm forced to leave the hospital because you can't control yourself, your punishment will be harsh." I shuddered and rubbed my backside as I walked to my Jeep. He knew I heard him loud and clear.

I arrived at school before my siblings since school didn't start for another 30 minutes but the doors were open already. I went in and made my way to Mike Newton's locker and opened it up. I had obtained the combination with the help of Edward.

I quickly got to work blowing up one of those clown bop bag. The last time I scared Mike with a clown, I had sent him to the hospital unconscious. Of course, I was the clown. This was probably just make him scream like a girl. I finished up, closed his locker. I was lucky not to get caught.

I went to Jasper's locker and rigged it to play "The Bonnie Blue Flag" A song favored by the Confederate soldiers in the Civil War. I had gotten Alice tickets to Italy for an all expense paid shopping spree to keep her mouth shut to Jasper. I told her if she told him anything, and I will know, that I will cancel the plans immediately. She obeyed and Jasper had no clue.

I finished up my pranks for the moment. They weren't as elaborate as I would've liked but I was on school grounds. I had to be careful not to get in trouble, and I knew I couldn't take Esme's disappointment, again. I had ruined the hundred year old mirror just last week. It was an accident, but Esme was so disappointed in me and my roughhousing.

Jasper walked in hand and hand with Alice. Mike Newton was behind them. His locker was closer to the door and we watched him open it. The clown bop bag sprung out in front of him immediately, causing him to jump back. His heart momentarily skipped a beat and stopped. He screamed.

But it wasn't no girly scream. It was a terrified scream. He slammed his locker shut before sliding to the ground, shaking. I glanced At Jasper, wondering if he was amping up the fear. He shook his head and said in a low voice.

"I'm not messing with his emotions. He's genuinely afraid." He said as he opened his locker. I waited, hiding my anticipation. I'm no idiot, I learned how to hide my thoughts from Edward and how to hide my emotions from Jasper. It's better to just let them think I was a babbling, bumbling baboon. I stole the line from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. Did you know Edward looked like Cedric Diggory?

Jasper's locker began to sing out:

"_We are a band of brothers and native to the soil  
Fighting for our Liberty with treasure, blood and toil.  
And when our rights were threatened, the cry rose near and far  
Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star_

_Hurrah! Hurrah!  
For Southern rights, hurrah!  
Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag  
That bears a single star."_

We were howling with laughter as Jasper slammed his locker shut. If he could be blushing, he'd be bright red. He grabbed his things and went off to class.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Until I got to my Jeep. I should've realized something was up when Jasper was missing from lunch. I had this funny feeling. My beloved jeep was gone and in it's place was one of those power-wheel jeeps for kids.

"Emmett, if you want your jeep back, you have to drive this all the way home." Jasper smirked. I growled, balling my fists up. No one messes with Sexy-J and gets away with it. I got in the Mini-Jeep and began to go home, looking like a complete fool, but at least I had time to contemplate the situation and plan.

I played country music to keep him out. He hated it. Growing up in Tennessee, Country and Bluegrass was all we had.

I saw a black Mercedes pull up besides me. I looked over and saw Carlisle. "Give me a lift home…please?" I begged.

"I don't know… You know… Mike was brought in for a bad panic attack…something about clowns. You didn't dress up as a clown and scare him did you?"

I grimaced. "No Carlisle, I didn't. I put a blow up clown bop bag in his locker. Besides I didn't hurt him. I can't get in trouble. It's not my fault he suffers from severe clown anxiety."

"No, I suppose it's not your fault. Alright get in." He stopped the car and I got in the passenger seat. "Emmett, where is your Jeep?"

"Jasper did something with it. You know messing with our cars isn't allowed, not even on April Fools." It was a rule put down many years ago after the accidental destruction of Carlisle's 1954 Mercedes. There was a silver Volvo coming up behind us. I told Carlisle to floor it. We pulled in the garage to see Sexy-J there safe and sound. I sighed. Jasper was so re-dead.

The end.


End file.
